October 12th- Tears from Jesus

Friday October 12, 2012

Good morning! Another amazing day awaits our team. It is cloudy and pretty cold for Africa, but the team is ready for a new day! I read yesterday’s journal to the team this morning during devotion—I cried of course, something that isn’t rare for this team. These children are forever going to a hold a place in our hearts.

Devotion
We must become global servants. What about our work over here in Africa is sustainable? How long term is what we are doing? God gave us two commandments in Matthew 22. The first was love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind, and all your soul. The second was love your neighbor as yourself. We are going to struggle when we get back to our daily routine at home. We must always remember what God has taught us here and apply and teach others. We must show what we have experienced by living it at home. We must reach other, because there isn’t enough public sharing when it comes to the Lord. Don’t neglect the Holy Spirit. We expect the church to give us what we want. We must get off the sidelines and do something.

Dedicate yourself to studying the Word of God. This is the very bread of life. Without it, we easily get lost, get caught up in worldly things. I have asked myself things such as, “What can I get out of life group this week? What can I get out of church this week to be a better person?” I need to stop asking those questions and ask myself, “How can I lose my life today?” I already have everything I need, so do you friends. We have everything we have in Jesus. We must ask Jesus to change us a little at a time.

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD.

Who today needs me at church, needs me to reach out to them at work, or needs me at home today? How can I be the light, the change I want to see in the world.

Bitter sweet Day

As I sit here in the back of the van pondering over the events of the week, I realize truly how much my life has changed over the last two years. This month marks two years since I left Missouri; two years that have turned a beautiful mess into a fulfilling life. I am a living testimony that God really does use ALL things for good. We might not understand, we might not see, and we may not fully comprehend all the situations God throws our way, but I do know, now, after 24 years that faithfulness produces and bears fruit. Fruit that is eternal and can sustain all things.

I am not the same woman I once was just a few short years ago. I am not into the same things I have always liked, and my heart beats at a different pace. A pace that is in sync with my Heavenly Fathers. I know that I was never alone during the dark days of pain and suffering. I not only had the Lord comforting me and holding my hand every step of the way, but I have now seen others that have suffered and endured so much more than I could even imagine. Going on home visits here to pray over people who have nothing compared to 90% of the world has given me a whole new perspective on praying. The women and families I have visited with have all been so honored to invite me into their homes, to share their stories and struggles with me, and to have me place my hands on their hurting, aching bodies. Who has ever been honored for me to pray for them back home? Praying—being able to communicate with the King of the Universe is just such a gift God has given all of us. I tend to forget this simple blessing that I need to make more of a habit in my day to day living. The people here have nothing materialistically, yet they have EVERYTHING they will ever need in Jesus.

I am standing in the middle of the courtyard on the last day of our program in Ramaroka with the children. The sky is falling with tears from the angels. God must have known our team would be sad to leave these beautiful blessings and this stunning village. I pray that the love we showed the children will last weeks, even months after we leave. Our hearts cry out and we ask God to bless these children, to keep them safe, wrapped in our Lord’s loving arms. I pray that our words and love trickle down their cheeks, just like the rain is right now in this very moment. I stand here today as woman of God, a woman after God’s heart, a woman that’s heart is breaking for the things I have seen and can’t change alone. The team’s heart is breaking in the same way. We want to fix everything, yet this battle isn’t ours to fix. All we can do is trust God—know God used us all in mightier ways than we thought possible.

I stand here with three beautiful children at my feet; children who are preciously holding bubbles in their small, brown hands and sharing them contently. These bubbles are like gold to them; something they never have. They are laughing, beaming with joy. Grins spread across their faces as they grip onto my legs a little tighter. I believe they sense we have to leave. I stand here writing, trying to capture this beautiful moment with words. I am writing fast, for I don’t want to miss a moment, yet I want to make sure I remember how I felt standing here while the rain comes down. Three sets of big, brown eyes are looking up at me, wondering what I am doing standing alone in the middle of the courtyard, pen and paper in hand, in the rain. They stare at me, asking me silently to love them. My eyes look back and tell them that I do love them. I do love them with everything I have.

Our journey here to Africa has been one that our team has prepared for a couple of months. From getting our acceptance letters, to multiple team meetings to prepare our hearts and minds for the things we have seen and endured, our team has grown quickly into a loving family that is after one thing; spreading God’s love and bringing his Heavenly Kingdom to earth. Our journey though was not a journey at all—this has been a love story, the truest, purest love story one could ever live out. This love story is now our love story with God. He’s the author, we are just the messengers.

I am forever grateful to be the messenger of the greatest love story I have been a part of. Thank you Jesus for choosing us. I graciously praise you Father for not forgetting these little children. We will be bringing all the faces, laughs, smiles, and moments with us as we leave this amazing place. Thank you for writing and being the author of this love story. May you write the sequels in each and every one of our lives as we prepare for our journey home.

As the team loads the van for the last time in Ramaroka, the rain continues to fall. Our hearts are hurting, crying out to the Lord to give us comfort, for we can not fix anything. It is so hard, because our nature is just to want to give everything we have. Our culture thinks we must give materialistically, yet the Lord asks us all to give our hearts away. We all want to give these children new clothes, new homes, and even take them home with us. That is not our job though—Jesus is the one to take care of them. It is about Him, not about us. We are not the hero. He is. Trusting Him and His will for these children is all we can do. It isn’t going to be easy, none of this has been easy. Losing ourselves time and time again this week wasn’t easy. Going home—the word home has forever changed for all of us.

Home—we aren’t there yet with our Heavenly Father, but our earthly home grew this week. We leave a new home—a home that holds new kids and new friends. Some of us became first time parents this week being able to sponsor a child. These kids, they call us their parents. Mom and dad are words that they don’t use every day or any day for that matter. The genuine smiles on the children’s faces are something pictures don’t even do justice. Knowing that these children knew by today that they were all loved by us and by God is the sole reason that all the time, money, preparation, spiritual warfare, and personal struggles were worth while for us to be here. It has been more than worthwhile—it has been priceless.

There will come a time when we will all be singing, praising God, holding hands, shouting Jambo, and playing soccer together. Nobody will be fighting over status, who makes the most money, who is the prettiest, or who is the smartest. We will all be together, equal in every way. This will be time where we will experience true happiness and joy to the utmost high. Our Heavenly Father will be right alongside of us. We will then, finally be home. Until then, we are here—striving daily to be the hands and feet of Jesus, desperately wanting to bring a world full of hatred, sorrow, pain, and suffering to His Light and His love; one orphan, one widow, one of the least of these at a time.