Beauty from God

As I sit in the home of William and Holly Pheni, I can't help but feel a sense of peace, hope, and love beyond my comprehension. Fifteen of the kids are sitting quietly at my feet, soaking in each other's company after a morning of church in jinja town. I can't help but feel how much love the God of the universe has for me; for you; for all of these beautiful children here at Our Own Home, here in this world.
I find that the more time that goes by walking hand in hand, side by side with Jesus, the more my life makes sense. Everything seems to be crystal clear. I see that God's gentle hand has been actively seeking me out over the course of my life time. I see how many times I constantly slipped up; tripped up along the journey, yet God still was at work, whether I realized it or not.
God chose a very unique and special way for me, and in fact I believe He chooses a special, unique way for us all. He disrupted every single plan I had for my life, which in fact was not life at all. I have never really quite understood what being a woman was really all about. I never knew who God wanted me to be as His daughter. I always assumed I would plan out my own life, I would make my own choices. But I had it all wrong.

Most of us like to play it safe. We don't want to let our guards down, don't want to let too many people in, and we protect our hearts in so many different ways. We find a way to make a life of safety, YET we ALL have experienced grief on multiple occassions. I can think of a handful of different things that happened to me over the course of my life. I have had men use, abuse, and trample my heart time and time again. I have lost loved ones. I have had mean words said about me. I have had many disappointments along the way. I understand now that the human heart is a battlefield. And the war is a deadly one, that can only be won with God at your side.
See, most people will not admit that we are in desperate need of one another. God made us to be in relationship with others, yet so many of us shut down, block off the rest of the world, and stay in our safe, small bubble.  When we do this, we completely miss the beautiful life God has in store for all of us. We also miss what it really feels like to love and be loved. You see, God is a romantic God. And women who are reading this, He made us so special and unique. He made us to be beautiful.

Do you tink you are beautiful? I have ALWAYS had issues with thinking that I do not fit the mold of what this world thinks is beautiful. I believe all women struggle with this, whether we admit it or not. The enemy feeds us lines of doubt to think we are fair less than what God really says we are.
Women, we hold a special place in God's heart. Men don't miss this either, women are suppose to be treausred, loved, romanced, and thought beautiful just as God does and thinks of us. To be spiritual is to be in a romance with God. Our TRUE self becomes reflected in our apperance. BUT it flows from the inside out. Our world has it all wrong.  Beauty is what the world longs to experience from a woman. Beauty is within every woman, and this is something that I am just now believing of myself because I finally am understanding what God says about me. Beauty is not what the world says it is. Beauty is in the heart.
Beauty was given to me by God; was given to ALL of us by God. Beauty also may be the most powerful thing on earth. You see, Satan, before He was cast down to earth, was a BEAUTIFUL angel in charge of 1/3 of all the angels in Heaven. God made Him beautiful, radiant, majestic. Satan's beauty turned him prideful, which later caused him to want to be God. Satan was then cast out of Heaven and down to earth, and he is here among us today. We see his work being done through muders, rapes, HIV, cancer, suicide, and many other destructive ways. I truly believe that Satan hates and despises us, because we are at the very heart of God, and we were made in His image. A book I read recently, called Captivating, opened my eyes to see that Satan especially hates women. We bring new life to earth, through bearing children, and mothering friends, family, and loved ones. We bring new life to earth, and Satan wants to detroy all things living. Satan was beautiful when once an angel, and He longs for that beauty, which is found at the heart of EVERY WOMAN. Not just skinny women, tall women, women without pimples, women who are athletic. All women are beautiful and made to be beautiful. Unveiling this beauty is our greatest expression of love, BECAUSE it is what the world most needs from us. We choose to not hide anymore, when we choose to offer our hearts to Jesus and to others.

Jesus offers himself, which is how He loves. When we offer beauty to others, their hearts slowly come to life. God has allowed this truth to be revealed to me through seeing his beauty He placed in my heart, but more importantly, the beauty He has shown me through the beautiful children of this world that many choose to not see. God has given me a new heart, full of passionate love for His hurting children in Africa. This quote expresses exactly what I feel; "The place that God calls us is that place where the worlds deep hunger and our deep desire meet."
God has called all of us to step out in faith, step onto the ledge, and jump into His loving, trusting arms. We can risk stepping out when we are resting in the love of God. He asks us to be vulnerable, to be beautiful, to shine brightly. I finally see how God has made us all beautiful in our very own way. He has given us this beautiful earth to enjoy, which is His amazing way of romancing us; to show us just how much He loves us.
The beautiful children here at Our Own Home in Jinja, Uganda, the breathtaking beautys in South Africa, and my stunning kiddos in Nicaragua have opened my eyes and heart to really, FULLY understanding how loving our God really is. Others may look at the world with hopelessness. Some may say there is too much work to be done. I challenge you to look past the negative, and really SEE the world around you. Look out your window. Stop, and BE PRESENT. Soak in all the beautiful creation around you that God has blessed you with. God has sent angels into my life in the form of these precious kids. THEY are the hope of this world. The beauty in my soul is BEST when shared, and I believe that to be my God-given puprose. The beauty in my heart is Jesus, desperately wanting to be shared.
You have a purpose. You ARE beautiful. God has given you MORE than you could ever imagine. Step onto the ledge.... and JUMP. :)

Love to all.