November 20, 2012
Hello friends--
It's been alittle over a month since my amazing journey to God's country of South Africa. The whole experience still is so fresh, so raw. My emotions are still all over the place. I wake up every day with the kids faces in my mind. I can't seem to stop thinking about how they are doing, what they are doing, if they are missing me as much as I am missing them, or if they know really how much they blessed me during my time there.
I am a changed woman. Anybody that has known me could see that. I believe our whole team is full of changed people, with changed hearts. I feel as if I have fallen in love with Jesus all over again, in a way that I never have fallen in love before. I am continually searching for Him, in every situation I find myself in.
My team has been one of my saving graces. Without their love and support, this last month would have been next to impossible. I don't even know how to explain how I am feeling. I have a feeling of fullness, like I am ready to explode at the seams with love, heartache, energy, hurt, and frustration. Love; for I have fallen in love with the people and children of Africa. Heartache; for all the brokenness I saw in Africa and for not being able to just fix everything there. Energy; I am on fire, wanting to show and tell everybody about how we can't fix everything, but we can change one person's life. Hurt; I am hurting, for God broke my heart while I was there. Frustration; for those that don't find sponsorship THAT important, THAT big of a deal. Frustration for those who continually live in the bubble of comfort we find ourselves in here in the states. I find that I am even frustrated with myself sometimes.. getting sucked into the things our society thinks is important.
This weekend I was given the opportunity to speak with Doug and Sandy, my amazing God-fearing African trip leaders, at my church. Can I just say that God is really using my pastor Dave in mighty ways. I am so grateful for his openness to taking the time out to allow the three of us to speak on such an imporant matter for all of us who claim to be Christians. I'm not going to lie, I don't normally like to speak in front of a whole room of people. I grew up kind of hating presentations in school. God worked it all out though. He blessed me with allowing my team to come up to support the three of us during our presentation to the church. I don't think they fully realized how much it meant to me to have them there. All of them go to our main campus in Indy, and they hadn't seen our new church here in Lafayette. It was beyond amazing to have them all there, sitting in the front row, wearing their Africa shirts. It was emotional to say the least, us all being together again, minus Susan and Meri. We missed you both! :) I know God used the three of us to reach out to our congregation and let them know what we saw, what broke our hearts, and what we learned. We even got a hand full of kids sponsored between both services! AMEN! :)
One of the main things I stressed was the difference in how I view serving now. Before my missions to Nicaragua and Africa, I kind of viewed serving as something to just check off my to-do list. Serving was something that I thought "good" Christians do, the right thing to do. I never really thought about being blessed through serving. I viewed it as I was blessing others through the various actitives and tasks I would do during serving. Well, God woke me up from that false assumption and reality. Serving has and is the most rewarding thing I can do here on Earth. It isn't about how much money I can donate, how many kids I sponsor, how many bricks I can make on a mission trip, how many meals I can pack on Good Neighbor weekend at church. It isn't about any of that. The bottom line is that serving shouldn't even be called serving. It should be calling loving.
My trip to Africa wasn't about giving all the kids food, clothes, and a new life. It was about loving them, for who they are, because God loves them and commands us to love them by showing them who He is. By loving them, I gave them the greatest gift I could give them. I gave them Hope; hope in Jesus. How simple right? It is so simple when you have God in your heart and when you see their big brown eyes looking at you, just asking you to love them. People here need that same love. We all need it, and if you take the time to look, you will see that there are people here that are searching for that love too.
Have you loved on somebody today that looks as if they are having a rough day? How hard is it to ask, reach out, invite someone to church? How difficult is it to call a friend you haven't talked to in a while? How hard is it to devote some of your time to volunteer in the kid's ministry in your church? How hard is it to sponsor A child, one single child? How hard is it to spend some more quality time with your grandparents? How hard is it to ask someone if they need prayers for anything?
Friends, I can tell you, a few years ago I was the most self-centered, self-absorbed woman I knew. Everything was all about me and MY dreams I had planned for myself. God had a funny way of getting through to me. I am a very stubborn, strong-willed, and determined individual and it wasn't until all my so-called "plans" were crushed and made nonexistant that I came to terms with the changes I needed to make in my life. I proclaimed I was a Christian, but I wasn't living it out. I wasn't living in a way God would have approved. I was at my ropes end, at the lowest of lows, and it was in that moment when I cried out to God and asked for Him to change me, to show me the right way. I have Him to give all the glory and credit to for me making me into the woman I am today. I have my amazing church, Pastor Dave and Steve, my loving family, my terrific friends here in the states, and the amazing relationships I have made in Nicaragua and Africa, my amazing new family members; Nica team members and my Africa team, and my two precious little boys, Moises and Obed.
God has taken my brokenness and turned my life completely around. He has really blessed me. And really, all I had to do was ask. Matthew 7:7 says, "Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." This verse really stays true to my life. Now, that verse is taken out of context a lot of the time. It isn't saying that everything I ask of God will be given to me. If I ask God for a million dollars, do you think He will bless me with that? Most likely not. This verse is saying if I ask, seek, and open the door to God, He will give me everything that I will ever need, everything He wants me to have. God is faithful. I never in my life imagined to be a part of something greater than myself. I never in a million years thought I would have been a part of multiple mission teams, loving on kids in Nicaragua and in Africa. None of those were in my dreams and plans for my life a few years ago, but the verse holds true to my life. I asked, I seeked, and I knocked on God's door. He in turn led me here; a woman on a new mission that is centered on God. A woman that can and has changed the world by loving on those who needed loved in places I never thought I would ever be. A woman that is made new and that has been filled with the Holy Spirit. A woman that couldn't ask for anything more, because I honestly believe I have everything that I would ever need because of Jesus.
I have no idea where He might lead me next, but I am thankful for where He has brought me up to this point. You know all those facebook "thankful statuses"? Each day you pick one thing that you are thankful for. Well.. every single day I wake up and I thank God for changing my life, waking me up, allowing me to see myself in His eyes, giving me the opportunity to really see the things that break His heart everyday. Friends, I challenge you to be thankful for your life, for it isn't your life at all. It's God's life. Live intentionally for Him, I promise He will give you all your hearts desires and give you more hope, joy, and love that you could ever even imagine.
Much love to you all.
Stay thankful,
Meg
